on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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