your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
