I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
