Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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