Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
