I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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