It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just pee around me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Who died my cat blue again?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
