Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
