did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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