i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
from now on my penis is your penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
