you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
try to milk me bitch
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