Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
