return my video game
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
