3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're so nebulous sometimes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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