Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
