Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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