That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so explain again why im purple
no
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
