Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
