At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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