Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
