quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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