So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
