Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
