its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
