STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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