i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize