it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
