Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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