I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
