Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
