This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
