i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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