I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
