you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
