weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
