all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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