I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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