FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
