i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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