well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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