shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize