his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
