You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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