i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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