Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
