she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
