Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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