Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
