i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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