Got a toothbrush?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
