Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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