Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
