I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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