You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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