His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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