My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You need a sexual gate keeper
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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