Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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