i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
