Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
